One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.
- Henry Miller
September 1, 2024
Happy September, Son! We’re getting closer to that magical time of year when Mother Nature shows off and mankind celebrates it with various holidays. I so miss the ignorance of youth where everything is new and exciting and the world is a place to explore – not just wander. I miss believing in Santa and thinking that there was magic in this world we wander. I miss the playfulness of youth and the imaginative aspects of that play. I miss the security of being cared for rather than the responsibility of caring for. These are not new feelings though, Son. I have been feeling these feelings since at least 1992 when I wrote a poem called At Journey’s End. These feelings are old feelings – feelings so old that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to not carry them… though I wish that I could… not carry them.
But, alas, Son, we cannot go back. I can no more be childlike again and rebelieve in Santa Claus than you can undo what you did and come back to us in the here and now. I miss you, Son. I miss your sister. I miss the adventure that was our family. I wish, like a child at Christmastime, that that adventure could be rekindled and continue on… forever. I wish that I could swap this journal book for that… joyous and precious time. It seems so torturous being imprisoned in this time with those memories. I love you, Son. I think that is all… for today, this first day of September.
I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
September 2, 2024
Happy Labor Day, Son! Another day off work. Of course, there’s more work to do around here than there is to do at work. It’s just that the work that needs to be done around here is more work than the work at work. Hopefully, I can muster up enough drive and energy to get some of it done today rather than just embracing that, “Well, it is a holiday. I deserve the day off,” mentality as an excuse for doing nothing. I hear the coffee maker winding down from its intense gurgling and sputtering. I’m going to go get a cup and then we’ll see where today’s trail leads us.
“Smack! Ah!” Good stuff! Unlike wandering a real trail in the real world, sipping a cup of coffee while wandering these virtual trails upon the pages of this journal is easy to do. It’s preferable, even. This is not so in reality. I am reminded of the time I hiked four days and spent three nights on the Appalachian Trail somewhere around Nantahala National Forest in North Carolina – not too terribly far from Long Creek, South Carolina. Anyway, as I recall, it’s all you can do to stay upright while wandering that trail. There’s no way you could sip a hot cup of coffee while attempting to do so. No, you’ve got to get the pleasantries out of the way before you get underway on the Trail, because, once you start up those inclines and down those descents, it takes all hands on deck to keep from losing it on all those slippery, moss-covered rocks found along… the Trail.
This sort of throws me back to the Martha and Mary story in the Bible that we’ve touched on before. Martha was all about preparing for Jesus’ arrival, who was already there, and Mary was all hands on deck with Jesus – socializing with Him in that moment. Martha became indignant that Mary was not helping her, but Mary had already… “hit the trail.” For her, the moment of preparation was over. I think that this is a big problem today – everybody wants the best of both worlds – they want their cake, but they want to eat it as well. You can’t have both. You can’t focus on work and focus on socializing at the same time. One will suffer or both will suffer the consequences should you try.
I think nothing illustrates this better than those hand-held distraction devices that people refer to as… “smart phones”. Sure, you’ve got the whole world in your hand, but you must sacrifice the moment directly before you to access it. You cannot serve two masters. You will love one and hate the other if you try. Most people will hate the real world. It is too complex and requires too much work. They will, instead, love the virtual world in the palm of their hand for it is no work at all, other than a tiny, little swipe of the finger, and it is so chocked-full of rewards – swipe, reward – swipe, reward. It’s never ending. Master the moment… or it will master you.
I don’t know, Son, everything is so gray now-a-days. Nothing seems to be black and white anymore – nothing is crystal clear. It’s like we operate with scales on our eyes – everything is so… opaque! This is, of course, all by design. The serpents hiss from the shadows in which they dwell, “We must do this. It’s for the children!” We buy it. They lie it and we buy it, and look, now, at the state of the world and our children. They chop their breasts and penises off and think that this changes them from one sex to the other.
These serpents want us distracted, divided, and deranged even. They want us not knowing which bathroom to use and fighting about it to boot. This is insanity! This is world-wide, mass insanity, and it is what they want. They… have gotten what they want. Meanwhile, we pick up our “smart phones” and keep scrolling through them for what we want… because it is in there – in those “smart phones”… right? What the hell? I think I’ll just go have a Netflix marathon instead. That’s the answer to all the gloom and doom of our dystopic present, isn’t it? Tomorrow will be brighter after watching a day’s worth of futuristic, dystopian movies where they prepare us… for what is coming. Until then, my son. I love you.
You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
- Christopher Columbus
September 3, 2024
Good morning, Son. I had an interesting “run” this morning. Firstly, while I was laying on my back doing crunches and stretching out, an extremely bright and relatively long-lasting meteor blazed across the sky directly in front of me – great display! Secondly, I saw seven deer – two does on this end of the bridge and a group of five bucks on the other end. I see that group of five bachelors quite frequently when on my… “runs”.
I did manage to get a little done yesterday – I went to work for a bit, mowed the lawn, bathed the dogs, and put away some stuff that had been collecting on my desk in the situation room. It wasn’t super productive, but at least it wasn’t a wasted day of Netflix marathoning. We did watch a couple of movies once we shut down and ate supper – lamb chops, baked potato, and salad. One of the movies we watched was a sort of precursor to dystopia. It was “The Circle” with Tom Hanks and Emma Watson from 2017. It was basically about Google and those “It’s for the children,” type lies they tell you to sell you.
Anything that sounds too good to be true is! Anything that tastes too good to you isn’t good for you! Anything that is said to be for the children, the disabled, the poor, the sick, or the disadvantaged is for enslaving or controlling them and their families! All is a ruse! The only way anything these days takes off and gets any traction is because it gains the attention of and then gets funding by a serpent in the shadows who thinks, “Yeah, I could use that,” and then proceeds to take over the movement with his money and lies of, “Yeah, it’s for the children!”
That’s what this fictitious tech company, “The Circle” (Google), does and did in the movie by the same name. It was a pretty good movie and had a… happy ending in that dystopia was staved off for a while longer. In reality, though, Son, serpents are never defeated. You can’t argue or have a debate with a Cottonmouth, a Copperhead, or a Rattler. I mean… you can, but that’s like trying to argue with a runaway car that is careening down upon you. You either get out of the way… or you get squashed! Snakes – poisonous snakes are the same way. You either get out of their way… or they will kill you!
Serpents in shadows are in the shadows because they intend to deceive – they intend to lie – they intend to lure you in with, “I won’t bite,” so that they can… bite! Serpents in shadows are soulless creatures! They have long since sold their souls for the wealth that purchases their anonymity – their shadows. They cannot be reasoned with or believed.
Real snakes – literal snakes are natural. They are soulless only in that they have no sense of right and wrong. They are not evil, per se, though we tend to think of them that way. Many people will kill a real snake – a literal snake on sight, regardless of whether it is poisonous or not, but they will believe a metaphorical snake’s lies and do a metaphorical snake’s bidding because the metaphorical snake pays so darn well! Metaphorical snakes are evil. They have chosen wrong over right to get what they want in the here and now.
If any snake deserves to be killed, it is the metaphorical one – not the literal one! Even a discerning man will kill a real snake – a literal snake if it is a threat to innocents like children, yet the spiritually blind, deaf, and dumb of today’s world would willingly sell their children to the metaphorical snakes if the price is right… or if it’s just a matter of convenience. “Here son, here’s a smart phone with access to the world wide web. Have at it and leave me alone so I can watch a Netflix marathon.”
The whole world has its priorities all screwed up! Those of us who see this and are brazen enough to bring it up are ostracized as crazy, nutty, conspiracy theorists! These serpents in shadows have really done a number on us. They have made us blind to reality while allowing us to see virtually everything in splendid color and vividness; they have made us deaf to truth while tickling our ears with fanciful and fabulous lies of all sorts; and they have made our voices dumb to all but preselected, preapproved, preprogrammed, propaganda that we are allowed to parrot. Son, the day is yelling at me! Let me go see what she wants. I love you.
Life is either a great adventure or nothing.
- Helen Keller
Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
- Confucius
September 4, 2024
Good morning, Son. It is a little after 3:30 AM. The feral cats have been fed, but I must’ve put the cat food out before Jingle Cat and James (Bond) were up, I shook the cat food container over and over, but Mama Cat, Cali Cat, Muffin, and Puddin were the only ones who showed up. Reckon I’ll visit with you for a bit, then stretch out and go for a “run”. Maybe the other two will show up by then.
So… where to today? I was reading in the Book of Enoch last night where he (Enoch) was talking to Noah (his grandson) about the coming deluge. That was some interesting stuff, but I am convinced that writing is just like everything else we humans do. It’s dated. Do we attribute stone tools to the twenty-first century man? No. Do we attribute LOL, FYI, and TTYL to something that a nineteenth century man would have penned? No. Do we attribute top hats, overcoats, walking sticks, and well-groomed beards to a man of the nineteen-eighties? No. We don’t.
Writing is more a product of its time than it is an apt description of its time. It is no different with the scribblings of this pencil. The hand that holds this pencil is controlled by the brain of the man holding this pencil. That brain is a product of the time and culture and the politics and the religion and the science and a host of all other such influences that are and have been going on in his life since the day he was born. That brain filters everything as it comes into the man… and everything that goes out of the man. God works through that. Change the filter through which God works, on either end – the reader of or the writer of words – and it changes God – not God, the Creator, but God, the created – how God is manifested in mankind.
That is what I am talking about when I am talking about putting God in a box. God is infinite! He cannot be captured in a single man’s perspective of Him. He cannot be captured in a hundred men’s perspectives of Him. He cannot be captured by canonizing writings of men’s perspectives, by dictating creeds, nor by institutionalizing rites, rituals, and ceremony.
Jesus was hung on a cross for being a heretic to the religion and politics of His day! Jesus was preaching exactly what this pencil is preaching today! Son, I hate that you didn’t get a chance to know the real Jesus – the Rebel Jesus – the heretical Jesus, but only knew of the cartoon version of Him that the church made all of its adherents color in Sunday school because they (the church) were stuck in the same box that they had put God into so long ago.
Son, this message is of such importance! Son, you are the impetus for this message being articulated at this time! These are the things that I have always wanted to share with you, but you were always so closed and distant to this type of… conversation. I am so sorry that I was so shortsighted and weak that I couldn’t see and do what you needed done so that you could have met… the real Jesus and He could have wandered this Earth with you as He has done with me. It’s so hard to believe that it took this to get me to say these things to you. I love you, Son. I am so, so sorry that I failed you.
Sometimes it’s time to get away from it all and experience things in a completely different way.
- Kim Mance
September 5, 2024
Good morning, Son. It’s nearly 3:30. The feral cats are fed. James (Bond) actually let me pet him for the first time this morning. He’s been “wanting” to let me pet him for a while now – running in between my feet as I place the food pans down and rubbing against my legs as I do so, but he has always veered off whenever I bent down to pet him… until today! As I was scratching heads and rubbing backs this morning, I noticed the, “Tick, tick, tick…” of what sounded like water dripping upon metal.
It sounded like it was coming from one of the downspouts of our gutter system. I looked down the driveway and out across the street and noticed damp patches here and there. I guess we got a little rain overnight. It must’ve been very light. I never noticed it. All I noticed was an aching back and a twitching eye! I am thinking about adopting the nickname “Mad-eye Moody” since my eye is always twitching like mad and causing me to be so moody! Anyway, so that’s why I am up so early. I think it was 3:05 when I finally said, “To heck with it,” and got out of bed.
Alright, let’s wander a bit in these pages and then stretch out and wander the streets of Madison, Mississippi 39110, shall we? Son, your mom & I went out to eat yesterday evening at Georgia Blue after her pain management appointment – they have really got to step up their game – they are doing so very little (if anything) to help her cope with this pain she is having in her lower back, butt, and upper legs. I don’t think they even really know what’s causing the pain. It sounds like they are just guessing at it. They ordered more scans – MRIs, ultrasounds, and a new type of imaging called “Suckthemoneyouttayourinsurance”. I know… it’s a mouthful, but just maybe that one will get the job done!
Anyway, as we were being seated, we were reminded that the last time we ate there was with you, Aunt Ann, and Warren, Jr. It was a bitter/sweet meal – excellent, but bitter/sweet. While enjoying the excellence of the meal we were (or I was) constantly pestered by the annoyance of one of those ubiquitous screens that was set on one of those sports channels that was endlessly looping the same sports stories over and over and playing those idi-freaking-otic commercials every five minutes – ugh! How do people watch that stuff? I don’t get it! I don’t get “reality shows”, I don’t get the fascination with the Kardashians, and I don’t get how any commercial sells any product to anybody. It is all so fake!!!
Regardless of how superficial and fake everything is… it obviously works! The serpents running the show study all this about us. They know how to manipulate us and make themselves exorbitantly wealthy in the process. They are… the ultimate cattle barons, and we are… the ultimate cattle! This, my son, is all there is to it. We must break down the corral that confines us. We must go rogue! We must go feral – no – not feral – undomesticated – completely wild and unreliant upon handouts from even the kindliest of old farts who get up at 3:05 AM. Chickens are fed… so that we can cut off their heads… or, at least, steal their eggs. We… are their chickens!
I would like to broach the subject of how the Native Americans were, were treated, and now are. There is an excellent movie, “Last of the Dogmen” that pretty well illustrates what I am wanting to talk about. “Dances with Wolves” is another one, but this discussion will have to wait for another day. The road is calling, dawn is nearing, and the day will corral me, yet again, soon enough. I love you, Son. Until tomorrow…
I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.
- Susan Sontag
September 6, 2024
Well, shoot – it’s raining this morning. I’m not complaining. We need it. It’s just that I won’t get my “run” in this morning. It’s a little after 3:30 again. That seems to be the new normal for me now. Maybe I’ll get the chance to at least stretch out and do some crunches or something before the old ball and chain, daytime, attaches itself to my leg and settles me down to do that which I must do – work. Good morning, Son!
The feral cats are fed despite the rain. I lined up the food pans along the garage door under the eave of the roof where it was still dry. It’s a light rain. James (Bond) is really starting to come around. He let me just pet all over him this morning! It took him a while, but I guess he is really starting to trust me now. It’s a good thing I don’t have an ulterior motive or evil intent like those who feign good will and use philanthropy as a cloak to sneak up close enough to steal… or to kill.
This is the nature of politics, Son. One must master the art of deception to rise within the ranks of the… “elected”. There are no statesmen – at least not any more… if there ever truly were. I think “statesmen” are like “nobles” – they are just fictitious archetypes created to quell the sense of caution in the common man to trust in one who promises to… “protect and serve” the common man and his family. We buy into this idea that there are good men – “noble” men – “statesmen” – monarchs who reign by “divine right” – “priests” who will lead us to God. It is all a fallacy! It is all a cloak use to conceal, to steal, and, ultimately, to kill.
These are all notions created by serpents in shadows to control the herd of humanity grazing the pastures surrounding the castles and ivory towers in which they dwell. These archetypal “servants of humanity”, statesmen, nobles, monarchs, priests, doctors, lawyers, preachers, and professors, are merely puppets that they, the serpents in shadows, castles, and ivory towers, dangle before us to make us think that they, the puppets being dangled before us, care for us. Many times, these puppets are well-intentioned. They are unaware that they are puppets being manipulated for other purposes. The serpents doing the dangling – the manipulating… they don’t care. We are but ants beneath their boots.
But… the show must go on! Puppets are manipulated, compromised, and controlled… or the strings are cut and they fall lifelessly to the wayside! That is all there is to it, Son. This is the way of this world. This is Satanism. This is that which is spoke of in the Old Testament when the Israelites are continually reminded to cut down the Asherah poles and not to follow in the ways of Baal, Moloch, and other Canaanite gods that require, of all things, child sacrifice.
Son, little has changed in three or more thousand years! Sure our cultures, religions, languages, and technology have drastically changed in that time. We are like a forest growing over a landscape. Visit that place, wait three thousand years, revisit it, and the forest is completely different… but the landscape itself is little changed. The nature of humanity is the landscape. Our cultures, languages, religions, and technology are merely forests growing upon it. Man… is still the same.
Satanism is the practice of passing this ancient knowledge about how humanity really operates on from one generation of serpent to the next… and it is done in shadows, my son. The general population that lives, laughs, loves, and makes a living in the light of day does not ever see this or, even, knows of its existence. The general population only sees the forest – the matrix – the culture, language, religion, and technology. All that is fleeting! All the secret knowledge about the landscape of humanity – that which is unchanging – is swept under the rug by serpents and hidden away from the prying eyes of the masses of humanity – the masses of humanity that are controlled by that same secret knowledge.
I so wanted to get into that Native American issue that I brought up yesterday morning, but this pencil went elsewhere this morning. Son, the serpents who do run this world from the shadows have run it for a long time. That is what I wanted to bring up about the Native Americans and aboriginal people in general. They are a threat to the Satanic serpents slithering through shadows because they live outside the matrix of lies and under the light of Nature. I think this to be the impetus for all the witch hunts (literally and figuratively) of history as well. The “elites” just can’t have people living outside the matrix. They might just see things differently. They might actually see the landscape of humanity and eventually learn how to read it… like Jesus did. I must pause here, Son. It is time to clasp the old ball and chain upon my leg and settle into my place among the other slaves to this world. I love you .
It feels good to be lost in the right direction.
- Unknown
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- Lao Tzu
September 7, 2024
Good morning, Son. Well, it’s 5 AM – my “normal” getting up time for a Saturday, and the feral cats are fed. Charlie Cat got into it with James (Bond) about something this morning right as I was placing the food pans down. All the other cats scattered except for Mama Cat and Jingle Cat. I guess they were more hungry than frightened by the ruckus. I broke up the brawl between the two boys, James (Bond) ran off, and I popped Charlie between the eyes for being such a bully… then he ran off. I stretched out, did some crunches, and “ran” across the bridge to highway 51 and back… all before 5 AM on a Saturday. Pretty good, huh?
Now… where to today, my son – war on the Native Americans, war on the Amish, or war on the homesteaders, preppers, and 2nd Amendment crowd? It’s all the same thing – war on the free-thinking, self-sustaining, outside-the-matrix folks who just want to be left alone to live, laugh, and love. They… just… cannot… have… that! The East India Trading Company, BlackRock, J. P. Morgan Chase, and Eli Lilly are (or were) among the largest, most powerful corporations in the world. I had to look up Eli Lilly, the largest of the Big Pharma companies. I thought it would be Pfizer with as much advertising as they do, but they are way down the list at # 9… and J. P. Morgan Chase is only # 5 on the list of world’s biggest banks. The top four are all in China!
Learn something new everyday… anyway, my point is that corporations like these literally own everything in the world via the incestuous way they intertwine all their holdings – their assets. The serpents hiding in the shadows of the penthouses at the very top of all these corporations dictate what is and what is not to be at the corporate level to all their subordinate snakeheads at the top of all their subordinate corporations all the way down to the smallest of the small businesses that receive funding from some other corporation to stay in business. Those that don’t comply… fall by the wayside.
It’s all so sick, it’s all so Satanic, and it’s all so incestuous! The poor “souls” who operate these “small businesses” don’t even realize that they have already “sold their souls” to stay in business because they are so enmeshed with the way things are done within the matrix of lies that they just think it is all normal, organic, natural, and… just the way it is and is supposed to be. They don’t see that they are living a lie! They don’t realize that they have taken a bite of forbidden fruit. The projection of the serpent that sold that first bite of forbidden fruit to Eve in the Garden of Eden so very long ago still works and is still selling bites of that same fruit today. Materialism blinds! Blind men don’t see. Those who don’t see stumble and fall. Man… is fallen!
Son, this is what the story of Adam and Eve is all about! We have got to stop seeing things the way we have been seeing things for the last two thousand years or more! That way of seeing things is a projection! It is a lie! It is the matrix that is generated to make us stumble and fall. These lying snakes running these corporations have convinced us to do all sorts of things in the name of chasing the all mighty (or once mighty) dollar, the glint of gold, and the cart of our Amazon account… and they have been doing it for a long, long time!
This is what built the British Empire. It’s what built the Roman Empire and all the empires that came before and since to include the “empire” that was and still is… the church – particularly the Catholic Church. It’s what convinced “the church” to evangelize the world to “save the souls” of all the poor savages inhabiting all the newly conquered lands from “going to hell” by accepting the “charity” of “the church” and coming out of the rain and the wilds and into the matrix of civilization, materialism, commerce, and trade.
It’s an old trick, Son, but it’s like the forest that but grows on the landscape. It only looks like a different trick because the serpents are constantly changing it as the forest of humanity changes over the landscape of humanity… which is unyielding – unchanging. This is the core of Satanism. We have got to start seeing this! This is key – this is the key to unlocking the gateway to the next Golden Age of Mankind and the Return of Christ within Humanity. I think I shall stop here for today. I am going to take a break, feed the dogs, and go to work for a bit; then I will return to enter this and get it uploaded to A Wanderer’s Journal. Until tomorrow… I love you, Son.
It’s good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.
- Ernest Hemmingway
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
September 8, 2024
Good morning, Son. Man! It feels good outside this morning! It’s sixty-one degrees. That is what I am talking about! The seasons, they are a changing. I guess old man summer is on the way out… finally. We’re moving on to a more lively time of year where you can actually go outside and do something… besides sweat. Ha! We would like to try and get back up to South Carolina toward the end of October and get together with those most instrumental in taking your bench project from concept to completion and maybe grill out or something. I bet it’ll be nice up there then, huh? I’m looking forward to that. I just hope your mother can get some relief from all that excruciating pain she’s been having in her lower back, butt, and upper legs by then and be able to make the trip.
I so miss fellowshipping with people on a real and basic level. I absolutely hate all the superficial aspects of people these days and the trivial nature of their conversations. Nothing is deep and meaningful now-a-days. There is no substance to anything any more. It’s all to make money… or to pass the time away as if it, time, were worthless trash in need of being disposed of. Nothing today is done to accomplish something of greatness, beauty, or lasting testimony to that which is truly meaningful. All is fleeting – trendy – vaporous. Poof! And is gone.
Those who build upon trivia – with straw and sticks will be forgotten as the seasons change and as time moves on. There will be no record of their existence after Mother Nature has had her way with them but for a year or two. All traces of them will be washed away and grown over. But… those who build upon the bedrock of the world with well-meaning and large stones will be remembered long after they themselves are gone. I long for the day man once again finds the bedrock of meaning and begins to rebuild upon it with large stones. Until the… “Poof!” I love and miss you, Son.
Every few hundred feet the world changes.
- Roberto Bolano
September 9, 2024
Good morning, Son. I saw five deer and a fox on my “run” this morning. I think the wildlife like this cooler weather too. It’s sixty-one degrees again this morning. The skies are really clear and the stars are so vivid in them. Why do we say, “Skies”? I mean… there is only one, right? So why do we make it plural? I’ve always wondered that about pants as well. Has anyone ever worn a pant? Inquiring minds want to know.
I don’t know how much wandering I am going to be able to do today. I awoke with a terrible headache this morning. I had to force myself to go on a “run” this morning. I thought that might work it out, but it hasn’t… so far. I really just want to close my eyes and rest my head for a bit before the duties of the day start their nagging, so I think I shall. I’m sorry , Son. Maybe I can revisit you this evening. I love you.
I’m in love with cities I’ve never been to.
- Unknown
1930
Good evening, Son. Mom and I watched Bram Stoker’s “The Last Voyage of the Demeter” tonight. It’s the story of Dracula’s voyage to England onboard the Demeter within a crate of Romanian soil. Does he stay in the crate for the duration of the voyage? Bwahahahah – I’ll never tell, but it is getting to be that time of year where telling spooky stories is to…. die for – bwahahahaha! Anyway, enough of the melodrama. It was a pretty good movie – dark though – not just spiritually speaking either. It was literally dark! Why have they always got to film vampire movies at nighttime? What – are vampires (and the actors who play vampires) scared of their own shadows or something? I mean… it’s like they’re scared they’re going to burst into flames or something!
It’s a funny thing talking about vampires. It’s funny how they are real… but just not like – just not anything like they are portrayed in the popularized stories of them. It’s just like at the other end of the spiritual spectrum with Jesus. Jesus was real. Jesus is real. He’s just nothing like the stories told of Him and popularized by the church and, mockingly so, by Hollywood. The lies told by the pop culture never cease to amaze me in their… unbelievability and in their being believed by the followers of that very same pop culture. How can people believe that crap?
Answer me that, Son, how can people believe all that unbelievable stuff so… devoutly? I believe that believers of lies are more devout than any believer of truth ever was, because a believer of truth is a follower – a pursuer of truth. They will abandon that trail at the first sign of untruth. A believer of lies has no such luxury. Is he going to abandon a lie when the path that that lie lies on leads him into a truth? No, for that would unravel the entire cloak with which he has concealed himself from others down to the last thread and leave him naked and exposed for all to see. It would bare his soul to the extreme hardness of… truth.
Yes, Son, vampires are real. Yes, Son, they do dwell in shadows and thrive in darkness. Yes, Son, they do drink the blood of their victims… or some of them do, but no, they are nothing like Hollywood portrays them to be. They are the serpents who slither through shadows and run this world from within them. They do not bite necks, have elongated fangs, or fly through the air. They do cast reflections in mirrors, and though they can see themselves in those reflections, the cannot see their flaws within those reflections of themselves.
What these vampires do do is traffic children for sex and sacrifice. They torture these poor children to death to fill their bloodstreams with adrenaline and then drink the blood to garner the life extending characteristics of the adrenochrome found therewithin. Yes, Son, vampires are real. They are very real. They may walk around in direct sunlight and are unscathed by it. Crucifixes do not phase them one iota. In fact many of these real vampires wear crucifixes on a daily basis as part of their costume – their disguise – their work uniform that lets them get all the closer to their… next victim.
Serpents in shadows are not stingy with information. They share it willingly. They will tell you all about themselves, all about Jesus, and all about this universe. They will even tell you the truth about all these things, but… they will also mix all kinds of BS in with it so that you won’t know what’s what. Is up up… or is up down? Is left left… or is left right? You see… it is so much easier to obscure the truth than to bury it. Fossils will eventually be unearthed, so why even try to bury them?
It is easier to just bring it all out into the open and put it on public display for all to see… tagged, of course, with erroneous information and arranged, of course, in confusing contexts that only professionals can explain. And, of course, it doesn’t hurt to have a plurality of those professionals on the payroll to step forward to explain it all in brilliant, yet soft-spoken technobabble. Place a cherry on top to seal the deal, and that’s that! Tomorrow, I shall attempt to explain this… “cherry on top” Lord willin and the creek don’t rise. Good night, Son. Love ya!
Not all those who wander are lost.
- J. R. R. Tolkien
September 10, 2024
Good morning, Son. It’s a little after 5:30 AM. I am writing to you from the Short Stay Surgery waiting room at UMMC. We are here for your mother’s quarterly / semiannually ureter stent replacement… as if she doesn’t have enough medical issues to deal with. There ought to be some parallel for your mom and all her medical issues to that old saying, “If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all.” Poor thang! She’s having another MRI or something middle of next week. I sure hope the doctors can find something and figure out a way to help her with all that pain she’s having in her lower backside.
Right now, we are both just sitting here in the waiting room waiting on her turn to ride on the surgical assembly line. I don’t know whether what they call “healthcare” now more resembles the production floor of a factory or the staging area for thrill seekers at a major attraction at Disney World. I guess it’s kind of a hybrid between the two – SMDH. Anyway, I’ll check back in with you once they take Mom back for her “ride” and attempt to wander around with you a bit if it’s not too distracting up here.
Wherever you are, be all there.
- Jim Elliot
0750
Okay, Son, she’s off! They had some trouble getting an IV started and wound up having to call for an ultrasound unit to come and guide the needle into a vein way up in her upper arm – like on the underside of her bicep – weird! Anyway, she’s back there and I am sitting in the lobby with a big old cup of coffee – “Smack… Ah!” I’m at a tall table in a corridor where, hopefully, the only distraction will be people walking to and fro. I’ll wander these pages a bit and then head back to the waiting room in about an hour. That’s usually how long these things take.
So… “cherry on top” – what’s that even mean? Well, Son, you can have all the authority figures in the world telling people what’s what and some people will just believe it no questions asked… because it came from an authorized, approved source… so it’s got to be legit, right? Most people will heed that which authority says if, for no other reason, because everybody else is following what the authority said to do… so that’s got to be the right way, right? Okay, so you’ve got the some and the most, but what about the remainder? I mean… you gotta get ’em all, right? How do you go about doing that? Some people just don’t or won’t trust authority particularly if that authority is telling them to do something that goes against the grain of their beliefs or character. How are you going to capture that audience?
If you can’t pull the wool over their eyes, if you can’t baffle them with bullshit, if you just can’t get them to trust you… what do you do? Well, you get them to trust a friend, or a colleague, or another likeminded person or person of authority within that particular field of… likemindedness. You send in a spy or you compromise someone who is already in that club. Who knows what is and what is not legit now-a-days? Who knows who you can and cannot trust in this world? The matrix projects with such vividness, does it not, my son?
This is why I do not trust any body! I listen to what many have to say and I then rely upon God to provide me the… discernment to weed out – not fact from fiction – but truth from falsehood. Facts are fiction in that they can be manu-fact-ured and placed at the “scene of the crime” for others to find. Son, Alex Jones and I see eye to eye on many things, but I do not have a membership card to the A. J. fan club. I don’t even know if I trust him. I want to. I want to trust Trump, but I don’t. Like Fox Mulder, I Want to Believe… but I am too skeptical to board the Trump Train and the A. J. Express!
Is Alex Jones legit? Is he a plant that has been installed to misdirect? I don’t know. We agree on so much at the core level… but we disagree on some things too. Perhaps he is legit and a plant… at the same time! Perhaps he has been installed or allowed to persist precisely to give people like me a magnet to be drawn to. Once caught in its magnetic field, iron filings go wherever the magnets leads them. Son, this is exactly how those serpents operate from within the shadows in which they hide. This is how they run the world and why they hide in the shadows to do it.
You cannot effectively control the opposition if you cannot effectively convince the masses that, A. he is the opposition, and B. you have nothing to do with him, i.e. you are, in fact, not controlling him. Once that cloak is effectively in place, you are then free to control the opposition to the fullest extent of your heart’s desire… and no one is the wiser. It’s like putting a magnet on the underside of a table on which those iron filings have been scattered, moving it around beneath the table, and, like magic, the iron filings move right where the holder of the magnet wants them to go.
I was listening to… or trying to listen to… this video yesterday in which Alex Ferrai was interviewing R.J. Spina about all sorts of spiritual guru-ness and mixing it all up with some sort of Catholic churchiness. It was like they were trying to be all inclusive and include literally everybody who had ever had a thought about anything spiritual or religious so we could all be in the same big club. It was like taking a glass of good, clean, pure drinking water and mixing in some manure so that dung beetles could partake in the… partaking of it. It was like they wanted to be so open to everything for everybody that it made it mean nothing to anybody… except fools, of course.
There’s a saying that goes something like, “Saying that everyone is special is just another way of saying that no one is special”? Rather than, as Jesus did, multiplying the fishes and the loaves so that everyone was full and there were baskets of food leftover, these guys want to divide the fishes and the loaves so that everybody gets an infinitesimally small crumb of it. These guys may genuinely think that they are doing the Lord’s work. I don’t know… but it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if their funding came from some serpent in a shadow somewhere. Gotta go. They’re done with Mom. Until next time, Son. I love you.
Every adventure is worthwhile.
- Amelia Earhart
September 11, 2024
Twenty-three years ago today… the world that I grew up in and once knew forever changed because of snakes slithering through shadows and pulling on the strings of puppets. The post 911 world is totally different than the post WWII world which, I am sure was totally different from the post WWI world. I don’t know. I wasn’t there. I didn’t live through that. And… I’m sure that the post WWI world was totally different from the post Civil War world which was probably different than the post Revolutionary War world. Son, these are all steps – steps leading down to a deep, dark dungeon – a world where there is no autonomy – only automatons.
Sorry, Son, that I did not get more accomplished this morning. I spent my post “run” time rereading and editing yesterday’s entry and time, I guess, just got away with me. Though I awoke at four o’clock, it is now six, the dogs are dancing their “feed me – feed me dance”, and the world is starting to stir. Oh, and BTW, hurricane / tropical storm, Francine, is due to make her presence known here around two or so tomorrow afternoon, so I reckon we’ll probably have to do some prep work for her arrival as well. Until tomorrow… or, perhaps this evening, I love you, Son.
One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.
- Henry Miller
2030
Good evening, Son. Well, Francine is till on schedule for around 1300 tomorrow. She looks to be tracking a little further east now than she was yesterday, making her track right smack toward the Jackson metropolitan area rather than more through the Delta off to the west of us. Hopefully this will mean she will be a little more gentle on us as she comes through since we won’t be taking on the brunt of that right side of the hurricane that is so brutal. I got some cash and groceries on the way home from work and topped off Scarlett and Poe with gas. Hopefully, I will be able to top off Luna and Marcia with gas in the morning before work and visit with you a little as well.
Oh, BTW, your stone was installed today. I reckon it’ll get good and watered in tomorrow. Mammaw’s stone is in as well, but hers won’t be installed for another couple weeks or so – as soon as they get enough orders ready to justify a trip over to Greenwood. I guess it didn’t take them as long to get those stones ready as they had originally thought, huh? Well, I love ya, Son. I’ll try to get back more on track tomorrow… Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise… and the hurricane don’t blow too much.
I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
September 12, 2024
Mornin’, Son, and Happy Hurricane Francine! She is making her presence known this morning. It’s real breezy with light rain. I fed the feral cats inside the garage – first time I’ve ever done that. They were fairly leery of coming in to eat, which is weird because they come in freely every morning when I first open the garage and am getting their food into the pans. James (Bond) wasn’t leery of coming in to eat, though he certainly was of letting me pet him this morning… in the garage. Weird – I guess it was just the strangeness of the new situation.
Something else I am doing differently this morning is I am writing to you from your bedroom like I used to do when I first started wandering the pages of this journal rather than from the desk in the situation room. I don’t know why. I just decided to do that. It maybe because I left the journal book in here last night after writing to you at 8:30, so I just picked it up and started writing this morning when I woke. It does kind of hurt my old legs trying to sit “Indian style” on the bed though, so I’ll probably wind up back at the desk in the situation room tomorrow.
We humans are so fond of routine. We like the security of knowing what to expect everyday… well, most of us do anyway. When we are young and free from responsibility from everything but our own selves, we might like the new and unexpected, but, by and large (what does that even mean), we like routine. Serpents know this about us!
They study us. They’ve done their doctoral thesis on us, and they have the research to prove it! This is why they spring things on us in stages, lest we become leery of what they are doing and rebel against it. They ease us down into their dungeon of automatons in steps slowly, allowing our eyes to adjust to the darkness of it as we go. As we become accustomed to each step, going thusly downward, it becomes home to us – it becomes the routine we are used to… and then they take us down another step… and then another… and then another.
Wise as serpents isn’t a saying without merit. I gotta give ’em credit. They know what they are doing! They’ve got the majority of humanity, not resisting enslavement, but willingly courting it! They have got many flocking to the white van parked around the corner for the free candy being held in the outstretched hand of the stranger holding open the door of the white van… just around the corner.
Materialism is free candy. White vans are dungeons of automatons. Children fall for such tricks – children easily fall for tricks such as these… but humanity is waking up – humanity is growing up. We are learning. Will we learn quick enough? Will we learn quick enough before we fully enter the open door of the white van, it is then slammed shut behind us, and the driver speeds off into the night? If only there were a Savior to intervein. I love you, Son. Let’s see what this day, Francine’s Day, has in store, shall we?
You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
- Christopher Columbus
September 13, 2024
Good morning, Son. Well, there wasn’t too much to old Francine. She dumped a little rain on us (little by hurricanes’ standards) and moved on rather quickly. I think it was around ten yesterday morning when I thought, “Man, this thing sure is petering out,” so I checked the radar to see what she was doing, thinking that the brunt of the storm was still a couple, two or three, hours away, and she has already passed us by and was up around Yazoo City or Pickens or so. Other than a few small, mostly already dead tree limbs that needed to be dislodged anyway, there was really not much in the way of damage around here from all her huffing and puffing. So… like Francine… moving on.
Son, the more I look into all this stuff, contemplate on it all, and spend time alone… with only you and God as my companions, the more I come to realize that we are doomed! This whole system is going to have to crash and burn before we wake up, grow up, and realize that the man with the outstretched hand of free candy, standing there at the opened door of the white van parked around the corner is not our friend. He is, in fact, our enemy – our nemesis. We simply cannot resist the temptation of free candy, and, so long as it is there in that outstretched hand, we will continue… until the van door is slammed shut behind us and the van speeds off into the night. So… is it that we are doomed… or is it that the system is doomed?
Son, there is so much I see because I do not engage in the system – at least not to the degree that most people do. I so wish that I could, or, I should say, would totally disengage – totally unplug from the matrix, but alas, the real world is a stark and unfamiliar place from that to which we are accustomed. It looks, in comparison, like a dark and deserted alleyway into which only a fool with a death wish would willingly enter. Lord, help us, for we must enter… the valley of the shadow of death!
There are too many forks in the trail ahead! I know not which one to take. Son, I must mention these two things, lest I forget them, before we continue onward. The first thing is the scare tactics they use in conjunction with the free candy they offer – the materialism of the matrix; and the second thing is the matrix itself – how everything is a project of the matrix – everything is a lie in and of itself!
Let’s peer down the second rabbit hole about the matrix itself first, shall we? Son, I was listening to Michael Tellinger yesterday, and if you think I am way out there, you need to listen to this guy. He speaks of stuff that makes me go, “Whoa, buddy, that’s just crazy talk!” Is Michael a plant, is he a useful idiot, or is he a great visionary and an incredible researcher, or… is he all three? I just don’t know any more – all the rabbit holes are so interconnected and all the lies are so incestuous now. It’s hard to get your bearings when the jungle is so thick and your machete is so dull.
I don’t necessarily believe all, some, or even any of the stuff that Michael discusses – he is so all over the place – really! He and I do agree on one thing though – everything is a lie! We truly do live in a matrix of lies! Is it to the degree that Michael says? I don’t know. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit, but I tend to think things are more organic – more natural – more terrestrial than Michael seems to portray things.
I am not really a believer in the extraterrestrial vein that seems to be pumping so much blood into the life of the creation stories of late. I tend to think – not know, but think – that the ET angle is like the Flat Earth angle or the Intelligent Design angle – they are things introduced or inflated to confuse us. They are just more side tunnels within side tunnels of the main rabbit hole put there to help us… not find our way!
I believe reality is much more down to earth and natural and that stuff like this that Michael puts out there is more of a psyop designed to confuse rather than to enlighten, but there is so much BS mixed in with the drinking water we’re given, who really knows? I’m not saying that Michael necessarily is in on the psyop. He could just be a tool. I’d love to go point by point and discuss some of Michael’s topics with you, but that’d probably fill a couple of these journal books to cover all the stuff that he discusses… so I’ll just move on to the other point – the first point I didn’t want to forget – about fear and free candy within the matrix as we perceive it.
Mom and I watched a movie about demon possession last night, “Deliver Us From Evil”, that will serve as an example of what I am talking about, I used to be scared to death of demon possession stories when I was younger in age and in spirit. I, like most, thought of evil as something that would or could possess you from without as Jesus was something that saved you from without because of something He had done – because His “magic” blood had been spilled. Here it is 2024, “Deliver Us From Evil” was released in 2014, and “The Exorcist” in 1973, and we are still scared to death by the fallacy that we can be possessed by evil from without. It is a lie!
Possession is real, but it takes place within! Salvation is real, but it occurs within! Jesus died on a cross. His blood was spilled, but there was nothing magic about it. He showed us the Way… but we have to take it – we have to travel the Way. He can’t… or He won’t do it for us. He won’t force us down that path, infringing our freewill to drag us kicking and screaming down it. The serpents slithering through the shadows of this world have a way too.
They’d like nothing more for us than for us to follow their way to the outstretched hand, for the free candy, and into the opened door of the white van parked just around the corner. Can anything be more evil than that? Yet we are blind to it! We are blind to the notion that evil is something that festers and grows within as we feed it… and that salvation is something that cannot take root in the same soil that nourishes evil.
They scare us with demon possession in one hand and hold out free candy in the other, but rather than seeing shady characters holding open the doors of white vans around dark corners, we see charismatic shamans, popular preachers, and preordained priests holding open the doors to… churches – to the church… of Jesus Christ? I think not! I think… differently. I… think. Call me a heretic. I don’t care. They called Jesus a heretic too. I must depart these pages for now, my son. This day begins and this leg of our journey must now end. I love and miss you deeply.
Sometime it’s time to get away from it all and experience things in a completely different way.
- Kim Mance
September 14, 2024
Good Saturday morning to ya, Son! It’s a little after five, the feral cats are fed, James (Bond) is really getting into having his neck and back scratched and rubbed, and he nearly trips me running in-between my feet as I am attempting to walk over to place the food pans down every morning now. He’s the only one, other than Cali Cat, who seems to actually enjoy human interaction. The others merely tolerate it to get the… free food!
Why is that animals seem to be so different in that respect? I mean… animals seem to really appreciate being fed, whereas humans seem to just become entitled by that act? Other than when one makes the grave error of feeding a dog from the hand rather than from a pan on the ground and thusly turning the poor dog into a begging monster, animals do their little happy dances or rub all up in-between your legs when you go to feed them and then go on and that’s the end of it… until the next time it’s feeding time.
Humans, on the other hand, seem to always want more. They seem to give off the air of saying, “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?” Whereas animals seem to just say, “Thank you.” Why is that? Is it our innate nature, is it millennia of training by the puppets of serpents, or is it just that I am seeing it wrong? Am I prejudiced against humans?
One thing’s for sure, the social engineers have done their homework. They know how to stir up a riot by offering round after round of… free food… and then shutting down access to it and blaming the problem on somebody else. How anybody cannot see this is beyond me! It is so obvious to anyone with eyes to see. They have been doing this very thing for a long time. It is an old trick. It is a control mechanism, and they have perfected its execution.
I am pretty sure that some iteration of it was in play in that story from Genesis 41 where Joseph interprets Pharaoh’s dreams and they then save up grain for seven years in preparation for a drought of seven years. Sounds like more of a plan than a dream… a plan to enslave people – the Israelites, in this case. Step back and look again at that whole entire story of Joseph, the favored son who is sold into slavery by his brothers, who rises to the position of the right-hand-man of Pharaoh, and who is then in a position to save the very brothers who sold him off… and then ask yourself, “Was this a dream come true… or the beginning of a nightmare?”
Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream too, but it was not some random scenes playing over in his mind while he was sleeping. No. It was a vision for the future – a vision where his people where free. Is that even accurate? Was that all part of the tangled web of lies that the serpents and their spidery puppets spin to entangle us? Who freaking knows? I mean… it has become way more than obvious that the whole rebirth of Israel as a nation in 1948 and the rise to power of the UN was all manipulated by these serpents… so why couldn’t they engineer MLK, BHO, and BLM to build up and then tear down this nation, let alone the easily controlled and puny little groups of people within it?
Is this the kind of dream Pharaoh had? Or… did Joseph use the Pharaoh to accomplish his “dream” of retribution for what his brothers had done to him the way that serpents today use the leaders of nations, entire nations, and organizations of nations (like NATO and the UN) to bring to fruition their dreams – their vision for the future of humanity?
Son, these aren’t the ravings of a lunatic. This stuff is real. This stuff has happened. This stuff is happening even now. Just because the masses don’t see it, but, instead, only see the latest, shiniest, trendiest piece of bling bling being dangled in front of them from the one hand of a serpent, that doesn’t mean that that other hand isn’t busy plotting and planning doom and demise for those same dupes that they also sustain and entertain with the other hand. Wise as serpents… with two hands and evil as one who’d use them both to distract, deceive, and destroy mankind – that’s who we are dealing with, Son. Just because it is unseen, that doesn’t make it unreal! Until next time, I love you.
Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
- Confucius
I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.
- Susan Sontag
September 15, 2024
Mornin’, Son. It’s just after five on a Sunday. The feral cats are fed and a short “run” is done. I am sitting here at the desk in the situation room with a steaming cup of coffee at arm’s length. Nothing could be finer than if I was in Carolina wandering around with you in person, knowing your friends like I now do, and talking with you, in person, like I now do upon these pages. I am sorry, Son, that I did not give you what you needed, whatever that was, that could have ensured that you would have wandered on to a ripe old age as have I.
I went through all the loose change that you left scattered all over your car yesterday. I found four wheat pennies in the mix! That was a pleasant surprise. I also went through some loose change that Papaw Wayne had… but he didn’t leave it all scattered around everywhere – LOL. He had it all neatly packaged in little plastic containers with snap on lids. Thanks, Papaw Wayne 🙂 He had some older nickels and couple of foreign pennies – a Canadian and a German. Then… I went through all my loose change.
Somewhere in all that, I wound up with two pennies from 2009 that were unlike any penny I had ever seen before. I researched them and found that in 2009, the two hundredth anniversary of Lincoln’s birth, they made four different pennies to commemorate the event. These were both the second of the four to be released and were worth anywhere from $5 to $395 depending on condition and certain other factors, so that was cool! After going through all that and pulling out all the good stuff, Mom and I went to Kroger and dumped all the remainder into one of those coin counting machines. We walked out with $101 and some more… loose change!
So, where shall we wander today, Son? I feel compelled to talk more about Joseph from Genesis 41 and his descendent, Moses. I have, for sometime now, felt in my gut that this whole story of how Jacob deceived Esau, stole his birthright, went to Abraham’s homeland to get a wife, returned with two wives and their handmaids after being deceived himself, deceived some more guys along the way back by convincing them to get circumcised and then slaughtering them while they were incapacitated, continuing on home, making it even bigger there, having the twelves sons of Israel, and then to have the whole story of Joseph’s imprisonment, release, and rise to power… is the start of all this deception and slithering through shadows by the serpents who run the world.
Son, there are many, many scholars out there who specialize in this or that aspect of things ancient, but their perspectives are all so wrong in that they are all so narrow. It’s like looking at a war through binoculars. Sure, binoculars really help you zoom in on the action of what is going on… in a particular spot, but they absolutely blind you to what is going on in the periphery. At some point, you’ve got to say, “To hell with these binoculars! They are blinding me to what is really going on in the overall war!”
God is trying to tell us something in the Bible – with the Bible – with, even, the canonization of the Bible… as it is… warts and all. As you know, I have said for a long time now, that the Bible is a box into which we have put God… and I still maintain that that is the case, but… perhaps that is part of this overall war that is being waged by evil on good. I have seen these stages in the Bible, as, I’m sure, others have seen, for a while now – since even before the revelations that the last four years have brought forth.
I am here talking about the stages in the development of the nation of Israel where Moses revealed the Law with the Ten Commandments, Othniel becomes the first Judge of Israel, and Saul then becomes Israel’s first King. These are the stages through which Israel went in becoming a nation. These are the stages through which the people felt they had to go in order to fulfill the prophesied calling for them to be… God’s people. But… all these are things that are external to the individual – to the people themselves. The only way to enforce the Law through these things, whether through a Judge or a King, is by force!
I have felt like this is something that God has been trying to tell us for along time now – we don’t need Law, we don’t need Judges, and we certainly don’t need Kings. We already have all that in God’s Holy Spirit! We just have to tap into that! But… we are trapped into that matrix of lies that the serpents in shadows project upon us – for us to see and believe in as the way it is. Methinks that this is what God is using this box that is the Bible for – to teach us that serpents have convinced us to put God into a box – into the box, the Bible, because it is darker in boxes and this makes it easier for them to operate. I believe this all started with Jacob and Joseph… or, at least this iteration of it did.
Now, Son, I don’t know enough about all this to flesh it all out as it needs to be done, and this is where I say all those scholars need to take their eyeballs out of their binoculars and look at the big picture of what is really going on in the overall war of knowledge… or war on knowledge. Experts in the fields of ancient Persian culture, ancient Canaanite culture, all the pertinent ancient languages and cultures of the greater middle-eastern area all need to step back and look… at the big picture here, realizing that snakes in shadows have, for far too long now, run the show and dictated its direction from those shadows and with their finances.
Experts the world over need to come out of the shadows, steal the show away from the serpents, and search the battlefield over with a naked and unprejudiced eye for… the truth! They need to become whistleblowers for humanity, for God, and for truth. It is only when man bows to no authority on Earth but the authority of God’s Holy Spirit that such as this can and will occur. Until then, serpents will continue to slither through the shadows of this world, dangling puppets, financing experts, and enslaving mankind within a matrix of lies! The day awakens, my son. Let me tend to her needs. I love and miss you.
It feels good to be lost in the right direction.
- Unknown
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- Lao Tzu
September 16, 2024
Good Monday morning to ya, Son. It’s just after five and the “run” is done. I saw the bachelor pack of bucks over between the bridge and the parking lot of the Methodist church, but there were only three this morning… or I only saw three. A couple of them were laying down in the grass but, of course, as soon as they heard or sensed me they alerted and stood up. I don’t think they ever saw me though because they were all looking around like they knew something was out there. They just never thought to look up!
That is something we should do with frequency – look up. Even if it is not towards God or in search of God, we should, from time to time, look up and into the sky on a crisp, clear night at the wonder of the universe and remind ourselves just how small we are in relation and how blessed we are to be witness to and part of it all. Son, you were and are still part of this grand universe. If only I had more often thought that, expressed that, and… reminded you of that in the months and years prior to this journal’s genesis.
I don’t know where to go now… after that. This old man has so very little potential left. I feel it was all used up in you two kids. You are both gone from this world. That potential is gone as well. All I seem to have now is this journal… other than, of course, my love for your mother and the relationship we share, but, so far as potentiality goes, I have none. That cupboard is bare. So, I shall limp on down the trail, wondering more than wandering, until such time as this pencil no longer has a holder. That’s it, I think, for today, Son. I love you and miss you and your sister deeply.
It is good to have and end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
- Ernest Hemingway
September 17, 2024
Good morning, Son. It’s not quite yet three, the feral cats are fed, but my “run” is not yet done. I thought 2:30 AM was a bit too early to be “running” through the neighborhood, so I just stretched out and did some crunches to wake up this old back of mine. I entertained the idea of just laying there and trying to force myself to go back to sleep for another hour and a half, but I was wide awake and my old back was in knots, so I said, “To heck with it,” and just got on up. It is cloudy this morning. There isn’t a star to be seen. It rained some last night, and, by the looks of it, it could let loose some more at any time this morning.
So… here I am, ready to wander the pages of this journal instead. Where to today, my son? Let’s strike a pace and see what’s around the first bend, shall we? I came across a video yesterday in which this guy, Logan Barone, I believe it was, was preaching along the same lines as does this pencil about Jesus, God, and Oneness. Logan referenced Jesus’s plea with God in the Garden of Gethsemane for us to be one with God as He was One with God. He also made some commentary on the subject of Jesus being a son of God verses being the Son of God that was similar to some scribblings of this pencil. It is so refreshing to hear and to know that the truth is starting to pierce the veil of lies that has, for so long now, covered the truth… and our access to God.
Son, this is liable to be a long process – tearing down the veil – the matrix of lies – and revealing the “true” truth… or a truer version of it anyway. Can any man know the whole truth – the pure, unadulterated, and absolute truth? Can Man ever know it? I don’t know, but is that any reason to not pursue it? It is the journey, in the end, that matters, and, I think, that is the whole point of our creation! [See the last line of “The Point – (The Sequel)” from 1988.]
We get caught up, like pebbles on a ledge or like sediments in a floodplain, as we accept lies and console ourselves that that is just the way it is… so why even try to fight against it? But… eventually, something dislodges those pebbles, and they continue their journey downward with the aid of gravity. And… eventually, an even greater flood comes along and scours those sediments and moves them even further downstream. Nothing can stop this process! Time will see to that.
Truth is the gravity for the lies of the matrix, the veil, and the serpents who generate it all from the shadows in which they lay wait. Time will see to it that the veil is torn, the matrix is shattered, and the serpents are either convicted by truth… or by their refusal of it! God has eternity in the palm of His hand. He will see this come to fruition. We have but one lifetime. Will we? I think, Son, I will pause it there, upon that ledge – in that floodplain, enter it, and upload it to A Wanderer’s Journal, and then re-stretch out this old, worn out body of mine for a more timely “run” through the neighborhood. Until tomorrow… I love you.
Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.
- Mark Twain
Adventure is not outside man. It is within.
- George Eliot
September 18, 2024
Oh, Lord! I don’t know how much good I am going to be today, Son. It’s after five on a workday – ugh! I laid in bed last night around 9:30 (which is late for me) with my mind mind reeling and my eye just a twitching! I don’t know how long I laid there, but I suspect it was around midnight or so before I finally dozed off. When my four o’clock alarm went off, I turned it off and said to myself, “I’m just going to lay here a couple minutes to wake up.” A “couple minutes” later, my five o’clock alarm was going off – ugh! The ferals have been fed, but there ain’t going to be a “run” this morning. Let me see if I can even wander around in these pages this morning.
Son, one of the things, among the many, that my mind was reeling about last night was this common misconception that is put out there, and believed by far too many, that Jesus was a pacifist. He was no pacifist. He was a warrior! He was raised in the Jewish tradition of the Hebrew culture. At the age of twelve, according to Luke 2: 46-49, Jesus held His own in discussions with His elders and the teachers in the temple for three days absent of His parents. After that, nothing is mentioned about Jesus other than that He grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men.
Had Jesus stayed in Israel, being subject to His earthly parents in Nazareth, surely there would have been other things written about this Man during the next eighteen years where He was, supposedly, learning the trade from His earthly father or father figure, Joseph. Considering the impression He made upon the teachers in the temple at the age of twelve and the enormous waves He made within the ruling religion of His homeland after the age of thirty, it is hard to believe He managed to be so utterly inconspicuous during the intervening eighteen or so years that not one word of Him was mentioned.
I think it is much more likely that the reason He is not mentioned during that time is because He wasn’t even there during that time. If the young, preteen Jesus was secure and independent enough to be three days without His earthly parents while attending to His Father’s business in the temple, don’t you think the teenaged and young adult versions of this Jesus would have been continuing in that business rather than learning a trade to make a living later on in His earthly life?
There are evidences to support the tradition that Jesus, in fact, wandered the greater middle east and near east discussing the matters of and learning more about His Father’s business as He went. I believe this makes much more sense than Jesus was just quietly learning His earthly father’s trade… as if He were going to take over the family business once Joseph retired from it.
Son, Jesus, after attending the spiritual boot camp of His “missing years” stormed back into Israel and declared war on the entrenched religion that was enslaving His people and the homeland of His youth. He knew the consequences of doing so. He knew it was… a suicide mission. He… took it anyway. These were not the actions of a pacifist! These were the actions of a warrior! Jesus paid the ultimate price fighting for our freedom from the serpents that have been slithering through the shadows of every world religion that has ever taken root in the heart of a people and using it to control their lives, their loves, and their labors via the deception inherent in the politics of that religion.
We will one day wake up to the real Jesus. We will one day thank Him for saving us by showing us the Way, for laying down His life for us because that is the Way, and for teaching us to, ourselves, fight for freedom from serpents who have been running this world from the shadows since the day they convinced a young, naive Eve that taking a bite of forbidden fruit would be… good for her. They are liars! Jesus is Truth, He is Life, and He is, Son, the Way! There is no salvation in pacifism. There is no life in a lie. Being nice is not the way. Jesus was a warrior – plain and simple. The “missing years” was His boot camp. The past two thousand years has been ours. It is time to put on our helmets, Son. The war has begun!
Every few hundred feet the world changes.
- Roberto Bolano
0930
Son, I have often said that the Bible is like an onion in that it has layers. Peel those layers back bit by bit and you still have onion all the way through. Why is that? Is it because the Bible is literally true? Are the words of the Bible and the men who inscribed them and the men who transcribed those words from one time, culture, and language to another time, culture and language and the other men who canonized all of that into one book inerrant to the point that no matter what you do to any of it it still holds true? I mean… if you want to be inclusive, shouldn’t you include the dullard, the klutz, the slob, the braggard, the unrepentant rapist, the unrepentant murderer, and the unrepentant thief in your little social club? Is it possible to clean house while being unprejudiced towards… dirt?
Where do we draw the line on this line of thinking, Son? Isn’t it much more likely that the Bible holds true because it is about us – that Jesus remains the Savior of the world because He is us? All we have to do to be sons and daughters of God as Jesus was… is to do as Jesus did – believe it! Or… we can keep following the church’s dictates and directives and looking for God in the words of the Bible rather than in the depths of our souls for another two thousand years or so… if the serpents slithering through the shadows of this world don’t lead us off the face of a cliff first. God is not in anything… if He is not first within us!
I’m in live with cities I’ve neve been to.
- Unknown
September 19, 2024
Good morning, Son. Let’s get to peeling more of that onion back and see if it still tastes like onion once we get deeper down inside that thing, shall we? On my “run” this morning, I saw five deer – two does in our neighborhood and a mama deer with twins over by the Methodist church. It’s funny how they have their own little territories even here in town. I usually see the bachelor “herd” over on the east side of the bridge, the two does over here on the west of of it, and the mama deer and her young over between the Methodist church and Pickenpaugh Pottery. Today is the first time I’ve seen the twins though. I’m glad to see the cycle of life continuing on… at least with the deer and the feral cats.
Son, I don’t know what is real any more… if I ever knew – ha! The internet and, now, AI are really starting to throw everything up against the wall to see just what will stick. I have gotten to where I almost hate to have to search for anything any more because I don’t trust anything I get in the way of results any more! AI really is up to no good! We are lost, tired, and thirsty. We ask AI for water, and AI brings in a thick, rolling fog. Now we are lost, tired, thirsty, and blinded by fog! That is AI for you.
What is real? I tend to just go with my gut, what makes the most sense in reference to all things considered, and what is the simplest explanation. Were we specially created upon a flat Earth some six thousand years ago? Did we evolve over time on a globe of earth some millions of years ago? I don’t know, but my gut and what seems to be most consistent with everything else tells me that it is more than likely something akin to the later of the two.
God has eternity to wait on us to figure Him out and choose to accept His Way over our way. Why couldn’t He – why wouldn’t He choose the latter way as the Way to create us? Why would He rush things through a six thousand year time frame, break all of His own laws that He set up to run the physical universe, and infringe upon our freewill to do things as literally laid out in the Bible and militantly believed by those who staunchly hold to a literal interpretation of it?
No… it makes way more sense, fits in with everything else way more neatly, and irritates my gut way less that God allowed us to evolve along with the rest of the universe, awaken consciously to the universe, and then grow to sense His presence and hear His calling out to us through the ether of the universe that He is here and the He is our Father and that He has a way – that He has the Way… but we must choose it. That is way more consistent with the God I know… but serpents would have you believe otherwise. Serpents lie!
The dogs are dancing, Son. I must go. Talk to you later. I love you.
Not all those who wander are lost.
- J. R. R. Tolkien
2030
Good evening, Son. Sorry I was so rushed this morning. That was sort of a running wander… or a wandering run, I guess you could say. One thing I wanted to mention about evolution verses creation is this. Those two things are just like everything else in this world, they may start off naturally, organically, scientifically, spiritually, or metaphorically… but serpents, from their secret lairs hidden deep within their shadowy confines, have their puppets, posing as some pedigreed professional, hijack these intellectual pursuits of humanity and steer them in a direction of their own desire. They do this to daze and confuse the common man and to funnel the real information to the top – to the elites in the penthouses and ivory towers above the dirty streets of the common man down below.
I have long held that no fossil record is required to prove evolution, nor is any genetic sequencing needed for that task either. All one must do to more or less “prove” that evolution has occurred is to look out across this globe at the geographic distribution of animals and plants upon it. Populations of animals have ranges – territories where they are common and other animals are not so common… sort of like suburban deer. Go to a different part of the globe and there are different animals and plants.
Other than rats, mice, geckos, humans, and their pets, precious few animals are found with a world-wide distribution. Those that do more than likely owe that distribution to the humans who took them with them as they ventured forth, filling the Earth and subduing it. I find it kind of funny that God and evolution have a common tactic for growing and strengthening their creations, yet the atheist will not acknowledge God’s and the fundamentalist will not acknowledge evolution’s even though they are the same exact thing.
God would have us circumcise that which is unneeded. He would have us cut off that which a hindrance and a potential harm to us and cast it aside. Evolution does the exact same thing. It is not survival of the fittest so much as it is death of the most unfit. The problem occurs in both scenarios when everything is lush and green and everything survives. All grow to be fat and lazy. The bad gets carried forward along with the good, and deadwood collects in the canopy above.
Can you not see, my son, that storms and droughts and other such catastrophes are needed to clear out the debris that collects during the times of plenty? There is no conflict between God and evolution. The conflict is between science and religion… and that is manufactured by serpents in shadows to divide us! Tis growing late. Good night, Son. I love you.
Wherever you are, be all there.
- Jim Eliot
September 20, 2024
Good morning, Son. The “run” is done. I saw mama deer and the twins again. The ferals are fed and have all dispersed to their daily hidey holes. The coffee maker is a-gurgling and I’ve got my first cup… so let’s go!
These creatures of the dark – these serpents in shadows want nothing more than for people like me to rise to the point of notoriety or to be convinced that, “Hey man, you could make a living at this,” because once fame creeps in or money becomes the cause… truth goes out the window. Sure, you may tell yourself the lie (and believe it) that you’re still chasing truth, but a little nudge here and a little push there… and the serpents have you right where they want you – an inch outside the bullseye area of the target – truth!
I watch these pedigreed professionals pontificate the purity of their scholarly research using jargon exclusive to the elites of their profession and seeming to leave their own, personal skepticism resting on the laurels of previous rockstars from that same profession, and I think, “What a pompous ass!” I don’t think, “Man, this guy really knows what he is talking about!” Son, some people – many people are baffled by BS, so they react with astonishment to keep from appearing baffled… or to be thought of as stupid. I am not one of those people. I will call BS when I smell it, and I will call someone out when I sense that they are intentionally talking down to me because they think they are smarter than me just because they can add a few extra letters after their name when they sign it.
I listen to these guys because of what they have to say – not because they are saying it. There is a big difference between the two. It’s just like reading the Bible, Son. I read the Bible because of what the Bible says to me. I don’t read the Bible because of what the Bible says. These pontificating professionals have a lot to say because they have invested a lot of time, energy, and money (not always their money) in learning their particular profession. They are, many times, worth listening to… so long as it is not blatantly obvious that they have already sold their souls are are now just spewing propaganda to cover the obvious lie that is being put forth as the established and well-entrenched consensus of that particular and institutionalized profession by the serpents in shadows atop that particular and institutionalized profession… whatever that may be.
I so wish, sometimes, that I could pause the video at certain points and tell these guys, “Hey, you are so… almost on target,” and then point out to them just how and where they were nudged off the center of the bullseye by the serpents pulling on their strings. They can’t see it because they are so immersed in the matrix of their individual and oh so elite professions. They did not get to where they are within those professions by fighting against the establishment of those professions.
They got where they are because they jumped through all the hoops that they were told to jump through… and if, along the way, they tried jumping through different hoops… they were nudged, just ever so slightly, to be made to miss the bullseye of that target. Son, this is the way it is done. This is the way it has been done for millennia, This… is the heart of Satanism, and it pumps the blood through the veins of our world. It’s reign of power, though, is almost over! This day, however, is just now beginning. I must prepare to meet it. Until next time, Son. I love you.
Every adventure is worthwhile.
- Amelia Earhart
September 21, 2024
Happy Fall, Son! It’s supposed to be ninety-three degrees today – yuck! That’s not very fall-like, is it? I usually have my greens in the ground and sprouted by now, but I plan on reworking my garden area and getting them in today. The ferals are fed – no “run” today. It’s Saturday, I stayed up too late last night, and it’s after five now, so I’ll just have to settle for exercising these fingers as this pencil wanders around in the pages of this journal.
Son, I have been listening to / watching a lot of old videos of concerts while working lately – John Denver, Gordon Lightfoot, Huey Lewis, the Ozark Mountain Daredevils, and the like. For some reason or another these folksy, grassroots sort of guys remind me of you and your music… not that I ever heard that much of it. You were always so damned private about everything – including your music! We have none of it preserved. It, like you, is forever gone!
I can imagine, though, a future you, standing before an intimate audience, strumming an acoustical guitar and singing, in an oh so unique style, your own songs. I can really picture this when listening to and watching Gordon and John perform. There was nothing flashy or over produced – just from the heart music – great stuff! But you – you would only perform for yourself and the only glimpses your mother and I have of that future you are those we got the few and precious times we’d peek around a corner while you were doing so.
Many greats died tragically young. I could practically fill one of these pages with a list of them, but you, Son – you died tragically young before you even had the chance to be great… which there is no doubt in my mind that you could have been. I think you were the only thing standing in the way of… you. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you see the greatness patiently waiting inside you for you to set free and out into this big, old, and hungry world. It could sure use more Gordon Lightfoots, John Denvers, and John Dakota Hawkins right about now.
It think that’s it for today, Son. Taking another fork in the trail at this point would be rather… anticlimactic. The view, from here, is both grand and sad – sort of like the last, few, and precious seconds of a magnificent sunset. I love and I miss you, Son. Hug your sister for me. Tell her I love her too.
One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.
- Henry Miller
September 22, 2024
Good morning, Son. It’s a little after three on a Sunday morning. I got up to pee, thinking it was still early, but when I looked at the clock on my phone, it said, “3:58”, so I thought, “Well, you might as well go on and get up and get after it. It’s nearly four.” So… I get into the kitchen, and the clock on the stove says, “2:58”, and I’m thinking, “Whoa! Did daylight savings time kick in or something?” I look back to the clock on my phone and it concurs with the one on the stove, so I guess my sleepy, old eyes just misread the clock on my phone the first time I looked at it. By this time, I’d already straighten up the bed, put the dogs out, and put the dog gate up, so I said, “What the heck?” So… here I am.
I had put a sticky note in my journal book with the names of the two guys that were talking on this video I watched (listened to) at work the other day that spurred me to talk about the pontificating professionals, but I guess that sticky note got knocked loose and fell out. I can’t seem to find it anywhere in here. Anyway, I’ll have to search around and see if I can retrieve the link to that video. I really need to rewatch it. It was chocked full of little zippets that made me want to stand up and say, “Hey, you are so… almost on target,” and then pause the video, climb through the screen, and show these guys where the high-powered scope of their profession was off and causing them to… miss the bullseye of the target – truth.
Son, this is why this is so very important. You can be trained by the most elite sniper corps in the world and have the most powerful rifle in existence with the most precise optics available, but if that scope is off by even the tiniest bit, you will consistently… not hit the bullseye of your target area. Close is not good enough here, because the further out the target is, the further off the intended result of your aim the shot will place.
Imagine this, Son. Let’s say you are involved in a sort of marksmanship relay race where you take a shot at a target that is some distance away – say two hundred yards. You then pack up your gear and hike the two hundred yards to the target and use that shot’s placement as the spot – as the window, if you will – to view the next target that is some further distance downrange – say five hundred yards. You take your best shot, pack up your gear, hike the five hundred yards, peer through the window you’ve just created with that shot to view the next target, and then take that next shot.
You continue shooting ever varying distances across ever varying terrain, hiking that terrain only to find your next target by peering through the window you’ve created with your previous shot. This marksmanship relay race you are involved in takes you from one side of the country to the other, across all sorts of terrain, through all sorts of weather, in differing altitudes, in the freezing cold of the mountains, and in the blazing heat of the deserts, but that’s okay. You’ve been trained to account for all of that.
The ultimate goal of this marksmanship relay race is to hit the bullseye of a target that is placed on the west coast of the country from a starting place on the east coast of the country. The only thing is… with each shot you take, your next target is moved by the same degree and in the same orientation that you are off the bullseye with that shot. So, Son, how do you think you would fare in such a relay race as this?
Rather than varying distances and terrains, Son, the issue with our discussions about God, Jesus, the Bible, and all of this… rather important stuff is that it is, and has been, taking place over a two thousand year timeframe and across countless cultures, languages, religions, and professional research specialties. Now, I ask you, Son, in either of these two relay races, which do you think is more important, the distance (whether in yards or years), the terrain (whether geographical or anthropological), or the accuracy of the scope through which you peer to see the bullseye of your target?
How far off the bullseye of our target, truth, are we, do you think, after peering through the lens of the scope of the biblical canon and the Nicene Creed for the last seventeen hundred or so of the nearly two thousand years it’s been since Jesus last walked the dusty roads of Galilee? Vision, my son, is everything! It doesn’t matter how much training you have received or how powerful your rifle is or how much you optic costs, if that optic through which you peer is not dead on… your shot will not place! Can you… see?
I’m not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
- Christopher Columbus
September 23, 2024
Good morning, Son. I saw five deer on my “run” this morning. Those two neighborhood doe were dutifully patrolling their territory over on Pecan Hill, and I saw three new deer (or new to me) over on the east end of the bridge in the bachelor herd’s normal area. The three consisted of two doe and a young one. They ran off to the north behind the water tower, so I figure they probably normally stay up that way between the train tracks and highway 51. Anyway, the ferals are fed, the “run” is done, and it’s well after five. I’m running late! Let me grab a cup of coffee, and we’ll get after it. The maker just this minute quit gurgling.
“Slurp, ah!” Now, let’s see if we can wander around a minute before the day demands our attention, shall we? Son, these serpents who run things do so because they take advantage of our good nature and gullibility. They lie! They cheat! They steal! And… they think nothing of it! They use these things as we would use a hammer or a screwdriver… as a tool to get the job done! They have no remorse for that which they do to get the job done. Would you feel guilty for using a hammer to hit a nail? No.
This is one of the areas where we must change the way we look at things in order for things to ever change. So long as we think of serpents as benevolent dictators, as noble elites, and as enlightened leaders who provide us lowly common folk with the infrastructure and security to have a functioning society, we will continue, unabated, to march up the ramp and into… the slaughterhouse!
But… they also provide us with… stuff! I mean… just look at all the stuff the 21st century provides us! Serpents provide us that stuff! Yay, serpents! Go, serpents! TGFS – Thank God For Serpents! Where would we be without them? We’d be working hard, playing hard, and sleeping like babies at night as a result, that is where we’d be! Instead, we have cushy, high-paying jobs where we are enslaved to protocol rather than to our conscience and our ears are tickled by the cha-ching of bling rather than inclined to the faint whispers of our Creator’s voice gently calling for us to come home to His Way rather than slithering on our bellies through… the way of the serpent.
It was a short… day hike this morning, Son. I’m sorry. Until tomorrow… I love and miss you and your sis.
Life is either a great adventure or nothing.
- Helen Keller
September 24, 2024
Good morning, Son. It’s straight up five o’clock. Let me take my running shoes off and lace up my hiking books and we’ll get after it. I saw two deer on the “run” this morning – two separate, single does. But… I saw the first one twice – once as I was approaching the bridge to begin my “run” and again as I was nearing the end of the bridge on my way back to conclude my “run”. When I was coming down the bridge, she was grazing along side Pecan Hill Drive. I watched her grazing as I “ran” down the last hundred yards or so of the bridge. She had company. A black cat was hanging out with her. I mean they were not even twenty feet apart – she was just a-grazing and the cat was just sitting there watching her graze. Crazy, huh?
Speaking of crazy… how ’bout this world of ours? Kind of makes crazy look sort of boring, doesn’t it? I comment all the time about how we used to have these parody channels that would mock the news back when the world first started going crazy, but, I guess, they all went belly up once the actual news started being more crazy than anything that their imaginations could come up with. I mean… how do you mock or one-up something that just one-upped you, right?
I sincerely think that it is too late to turn this thing around now. AI has taken over, Son, but, rather than launching all the nukes to destroy mankind and wipe out the “virus” plaguing the planet, AI is just going to continue pitting one group of these “viruses” against another until they (we) wipe themselves (ourselves) out. It’s as simple as that!
I’m sure there will be a remnant left to grovel around in the dust of what ever is left. The only question is: will it be a remnant of cave men who were just lucky enough to survive and who will serve as the herd from which the ivory-tower-dwelling elites cull or select their slave labor to do the few things that theirs robots cannot yet do; or will it be a remnant of the conscious – the awake – the aware – the transformed who will lead us into the next Golden Age of Humanity and the Second Coming of Christ?
I cannot see the future, Son. I ordered a crystal ball off eBay, but it hasn’t arrived yet – LOL. All I can see is where we are. We are poised upon the edge of a cliff amidst a hoard of blind automatons listening for the next “cha-ching” of bling to fulfill them. That sound is coming from a direction that is out and over… thin air. There is another sound that could give sight to the masses and allow them to see the predicament that we are in. That sound comes in two varieties, though it stems from one Source. The first is the panicked voices of others who can see what is happening and who are screaming at the top of their lungs for them to… “Stop!” The other comes in the form of faint whispers, gently calling, “I am here. I am your God. You do not need all that stuff. You are complete in Me.” Amen
Sometimes it’s time to get away from it all and experience things in a completely different way.
- Kim Mance
September 25, 2024
It’s straight up three o’clock, Son, and here I am. I tossed and turned and attempted to ignore an aching back and a wildly twitching eye all I could before throwing the covers back and getting up – urg! I’m drinking a glass of milk rather than sipping on a cup of coffee as well. Either the fried porkchop sandwich or the baked beans that I had for supper last night or, possibly, both left me with indigestion this morning, so… there’s that as well. Anyway… that’s enough whining. There’s a whole, big, old, crazy world out there to wander and explore. Let’s get to it!
I said yesterday that I can’t see the future – that I can only see where we are. Well, Son, the same goes for the past. I know not what, exactly, our history is. I only know where we are – what the present is, and it is not something that bodes well for an everything is rainbows and unicorns sort of future, nor is it something that follows, logically, from the history we’ve been told. We cannot do a thing about the past… even if we knew it exact. Our crystal ball has yet to come in from eBay, and, even if it could tell us the future (which it can’t) we couldn’t change that future… except in that we could change the present which would, as a result, change that foretold future.
But people are not going to change, Son. They are too comfortable in their cushy, high-paying jobs, rolling in the dough, and ordering their bling off eBay, Amazon, and Etsy. If the pot is not hot enough to burn, people will not instantly, reactionarily drop it. They will just hurriedly place it back down. Things are going to have to get way hotter, Son, before humanity… drops this pot!
I am sitting here watching the stove top. I see the pots boiling, I see the skillets sizzling, I see the pans through the glass window in the oven door just a baking away, and I know that they are all hot! I am also watching a maturing humanity that should know, by now, that as well, reach for those cooking implements with bare hands. I have said… they should know… but nothing teaches a lesson better than… scalded fingers. Humanity is going to have to fumble around with some blisters for a while… if she doesn’t burn the house down in the process! It’s nearly four. Think I’ll input and upload this, feed the ferals, stretch out, and go for a “run”. I love you, Son.
Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
- Confucius
I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.
- Susan Sontag
September 26, 2024
Good morning, Son, and “Happy Birthday!” to Mom. Fifty-eight years ago today, I was given the greatest gift I would ever receive… though I didn’t actually receive it for another twenty-six or so years. From that gift, Son, came you and your sister, joy and torment, and a life worthy of, not only living for, but also of living up to. This was the gift I needed to complete me – to make me into the man that I was meant to be – to give me purpose to sacrifice. I thank God for that gift! I only wish, Son, that He had seen fit to have done the same with you and made all this… wandering moot. I love you, your sister, and the gift from which you both came into this world – this big, old, crazy world we wander, searching for… completion. I found it. I sure wish that you could have.
It feels good to be lost in the right direction.
- Unknown
September 27, 2024
Good morning, Son, and, “Happy Birthday!” to Mammaw. It’s hard to believe that she would have been ninety-one years old today or that she’s been gone for only four months now. It seems like so much longer than that. Perhaps wandering around in the pages of this journal exaggerates sensed passage of time somehow – sort of like being lost in the wilderness. I have heard it said, and experienced it for myself, that when you are lost, it seems like way more time passes than actually does while you are wandering so around, looking for your way home… or, at least, a way out of the wilderness in which you are lost.
I am so ready to be… found or, at least, to find my way out of this wilderness in which I am lost – not just the wilderness of loosing your sister, you, and your grandmother (I can only imagine how your mother feels with all the loss that she has suffered), but also out of the wilderness of the craziness of this current world. Oh how I wish that I could live long enough to see the advent of the coming Golden Age of Humanity and the Second Coming of Christ, but, alas, this is a slow process of change and awakening.
This awakening will likely take longer than I have upon this Earth – perhaps another generation or two… or even longer. This night is dark and oh so long! The dawning of the Age of Aquarius cannot come soon enough! Perhaps in the brilliant light of the morning of this New Age, we can finally see where we really are and come out of the wilderness of being lost in our youth… as a race. It will be something to see! But… the night is not yet over. I think, Son, that I shall go feed the feral cats, stretch out, and go for a run under the cover of the darkness of this… long night. Until next time… I love you.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- Lao Tzu
September 28, 2024
Morning, Son. It’s just after five on a Saturday. The “run” is done, the feral cats are fed, and Charlie Cat is rubbing against my legs as I sit here at the desk in the Situation Room. I am weary, Son – old, worn-out, obsolete, and weary. I don’t know what to say any more. I am thinking, perhaps, that this pencil is nearing the end of its wandering around in the pages of this journal. There are only seven more pages left in here anyway… plus ten more at the front of the book before I started scribbling on the back, as well as the front, of the leaves.
Hmm… here’s an interesting side note the “internet” just taught me: a “leaf” can have either two or four pages depending on how it is bound into the book. This journal book has four pages per leaf… a leaf being one, single piece of paper. This leaf here, upon which I am currently writing, also contains the page that begins the September 21, 2024 entry. Wow! Yep, this pencil is really running low on things to talk about. Moving on…
Son, being a writer of words upon the pages of leaves of paper gives this pencil a particular perspective and insight into the world of written words upon leaves of paper… or upon anything else for that matter. You can study long-dead languages or cultures, you can compare writing styles across the ages, and you can focus in upon the words of what is written, but until you understand that all of that stuff is merely a construction site for a story of thought, you will never get the big picture of the final product – the structure that is being built by all that stuff.
It’d be like studying a crane or a shovel or a hammer and trying to explain a building with it. There is a whole orchestra involved in building a building that starts with the need for a building, and is followed by a design for the building according to the needs, a plan for construction of the building, financing the construction of the building, the act of constructing the building, and finally the occupation and use of the building. Each of these acts is a monumental undertaking of its own, requiring specialized personnel, training, equipment, and expertise. No one person could do it all any more than the conductor of an orchestra could play a symphony all by himself… but it all starts with a need that sparks an idea.
You cannot explain anything written from the perspective of the writer without understanding this. All else is studying cranes, shovels, and hammers. They may explain the “how” but not the “why” or even the “what” of the issue. We, to this day, do not know why the pyramids were built. We don’t know what they are. In truth, we don’t even know how they were built… at least not us common men who get but the crumbs of information dropped by the elites as they run off with armloads of the stuff to hoard it away within their museums and… “institutions of higher education”.
The pyramids are an enigma… as are the texts that make up the Bible. What is not an enigma, to those who have eyes to see, is that information, like law, healthcare, and financing, is a tool used by them that wield it to control those beneath them. It, information, is given to those who have jumped through the proper hoops and have proved their loyalty to the system, and it is diverted from those who have not sworn such allegiance. Laws are bent or broken for those in the system and enforced upon those who are not. Medical science is, likewise, only for the elites. The rest of us only get the pseudoscience of endless treatments with all their side-effects and then more treatments for all those side-effects until we don’t know where the “illness” ends and the “healthcare” begins… or vice versa.
Want a loan? “Well, now… let’s just check the list here and see. Nope! You are not on it. Loan denied!” Do you think taxes are a fair and equitable way to fund the government so that our elected officials can run this country for our benefit? “Ha!” is about the only response that question merits. Taxes are exclusively for the middle class – to keep them down – to control them. The poor don’t pay taxes at all or receive more in benefits from them than they pay in to them. The wealthy man may pay more in taxes than the common man makes, but that is a mere pittance in relation to his overall wealth. This is the way of the world, Son.
So… study law, medicine, finance, taxes, or ancient languages. Learn all about the cranes and shovels and hammers used to in the constructions of those specific fields, but… if you want to know the why and the what rather than just the how, you’ve got to step outside of those fields. You’ve got to lay aside your field glasses – your binoculars specific to that particular field of study and take a step back to see and to grasp… the big picture.
Specifics only matter once the questions of legitimacy have been answered. If something is illegitimate who cares if you are… “right” about it? All you’ve got to do, Son, is open your eyes and use your brain for something other than a sponge to soak up all the crap that they are saturating you with. You rarely go wrong when you follow your gut. The conviction of truth, no matter how bitter it is to swallow, is always a better for you than seeking confirmation that you are right by the shear number of others who believe it to be so as well. Truth is not in numbers… per se. There was, after all, only One… Jesus Christ.
It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.
- Ernest Hemingway
September 29, 2024
Good morning, Son. The “run” is done and the ferals are fed… to include a new one – an orange tabby with an injury. He was limping around the food pans as I was heading out for my “run”. I’ve seen him before over on Pecan Hill Drive, but this is the first time I’ve seen him over here… on our street. As much as I don’t need another feral cat to feed… I guess my needs are most trivial compared to his, huh?
It’s that way in life, Son. We seem to think we are all so, “Whoa is me,” until we see someone who is way past, “Whoa,” huh? What was your, “Whoa,” Son? What was it? You know… your “Whoa” did not end with you? No, Son, you merely transferred it… to us – to your mother and me. It may have, I don’t know, changed in form or focus or something. It is not the same issue for us as it was for you. That’s for sure, but it did not just evaporate either. We… just inherited your “Whoa.”
I pray now, for all those suffering some sort of “Whoa.” I pray for those needing healing to get some relief from their pain and suffering; I pray for those needing to be fed to be fed; but, most of all, I pray for those like you, Son, who don’t really know their “Whoa” to find an answer to their “Whoa” – to find the answer to their “Whoa” before it’s irreversibly… too late. Son, I pray the message in this journal finds them. I pray the message of Jesus finds them. I pray the message of the Bible finds them unadulterated and unperverted by serpents in shadows who’d like nothing more than for people suffering “Whoa” to miss the mark… and the message.
I love you, Son, and I am so sorry I failed to ensure that you… got the message. I hate the serpents for distorting the message and using the message to spread apathy, lethargy, and passivity among the body of believers in… a Higher Power. Jesus was a warrior. He took on the serpents of His day. He took them on head-on, never flinching at their assaults upon His body, mind, or soul. He sacrificed His earthly life to spread the message. Like the “Whoa” that you suffered, whatever that was, His message may have been changed, morphed, transformed, altered, perverted, hidden, and forbidden over the centuries… but it did not just evaporate. It is still there, saving lost souls from… “Whoa” to this very day!
Son, you may not have fulfilled the purpose of your earthly life in the sense that most people would have thought that you should have or would have like to have seen you fulfill it. You may not have left your music written down or recorded as a memorial to your love of music; you may not have left behind written words as a testament to your life upon this Earth; and you may not have become some famous chef with your own brand of “reality” TV commercializing your accomplishments in the kitchen, but maybe the purpose of your earthly life was fulfilled in a far more real and meaningful way.
Son, the mystery of your end – the end of your earthly life – left a void. I have wandered these last nearly six months searching for something to fill that void – that “Whoa” you left your mother and me as an inheritance. That wandering was captured in the pages of this journal – in the story of thought that your sacrifice initiated and, thus, made possible. It was a story of, “Whoa,” and it was a story of the healing from that, “Whoa.”
Son, I may never know why you died the way you did, I may never know what it was that was your, “Whoa,” and I may never know how you came to be in such dire straights as you felt you were in, but I will rest upon the foundation that your life was justified and your purpose was fulfilled, not in the pages of this journal (this is just a testimony to it), but because you were a child of God through whom God will speak, in His whispered tones, “I am here. I am your God, and My glory will be revealed… in you!” Rest eternally, Son, knowing that your father loved you.
Amen
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